New Year. New Intention.

Today’s yoga practice, taught by Amanita, began with a meditation on setting an intention for the new year. What a relief not to hear someone stress the urgency of resolutions or the need to time things just right.

Instead, she guided us through what it means to set an intention. Not something to accomplish or fix, but how you want to feel. With each inhale, Amanita suggested, imagine that feeling. Each exhale, she asked us to release what might stand in the way.

It seemed like a lot to figure out in the first few minutes of class.

As we practiced Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing), I cycled through possibilities. Happiness felt too vague. Less anxious was too obvious. Calm and grounded sounded noble, but dull. And as I thought about the first couple days of the new year, that familiar anticlimax creeping in, the quiet ache of missing people who aren’t here anymore, I found it. 

Excitement.

To me, excitement feels like a heightened form of gratitude. Maybe even a kind of grace.

The power vinyasa (also known as Ama Yoga for those who’ve practiced with her before) was slow and challenging. Long holds. Enough time to breathe in, breathe out, and do the work.

I realized quickly that excitement, at least for me, has very little to do with big plans or dramatic escapes. It’s not trips to Europe or anything that needs booking in advance. It’s a way of paying attention. Of letting myself enjoy the moment I’m in, without rushing past it or bracing for what comes next. If excitement is a form of gratitude, then it lives in the small, ordinary parts of a day.

Excitement that I can come to yoga and stretch a little deeper. Hold a little stronger. Balance a little longer.

Excitement when both daughters are home for dinner at the same time.

Excitement on days when my husband feels well enough that the worry loosens its grip.

Excitement when the air first smells like spring.

Excitement when my husband’s gaze lingers, and when my mom and I listen to ABBA. 

Excitement every time I face a blank page and wonder what story might emerge.

I gave up making resolutions years ago. Not because people abandon them within ten days, but because my life already runs on discipline. I eat the same way on holidays as I do on Mondays. I move my body daily. I drink my water. I show up.

What I’m practicing now isn’t more structure. It’s integration.

On the mat, I practice breathing into excitement.

Off the mat, I practice noticing when it shows up anyway.